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If there’s one area of attraction where you can truly stand out and distinguish yourself, it’s by taking the lead in the relationship. Men often fall short in this area because they don’t understand what it means to lead a woman. They confuse the word lead with control—and a controlling man is the last thing a woman wants in her life.
You must have the courage to give a woman freedom; at the same time, you must be able to lead a woman into attraction. As a man, your ultimate goal in any relationship should be to enjoy a woman’s company as you lead her towards the bedroom. Sex, as crude as it might sound, is the ultimate destination for all male/female relationships. If this reality is subverted in favor of friendship, a woman will lose attraction for you and disappear from your life.
Leading a woman the right way is as simple as knowing what you want and having the courage to go after it. If you want to take a woman out on a date, your goal must be to have fun and seduce her. If you want to have sex with a woman, your goal must be to lead her towards intimacy. Leading doesn’t have to be complicated, it only has to be done with confidence and a clear sense of purpose.
A simple way to lead a woman is to ask yourself: what would you do if she wasn’t with you? If you find yourself doing something that you wouldn’t ordinarily do without her, then you know you’re on the wrong path. Leading is doing what you want and letting the woman come along for the ride. Women by nature hate taking the lead in relationships. Once a woman takes the lead in the relationship, she’ll inevitably start to feel as though she’s the one in charge. This situation never sits well with women, and it’s only a matter of time before they start to question your masculinity and confidence. From an evolutionary perspective, a man who’s easily lead is easily taken advantage of, and thus more likely to be outwitted and outmatched by his opponents.
A study published in the journal Human Nature revealed that men who rate higher on indicators of social dominance and leadership are more attractive to women. This is in sharp contrast to women who are rated more attractive when they score higher on indicators of submission and sensitivity.
Another interesting aspect of this study was that dominant women were only rated attractive by other women (not men). This indicates that women find leadership qualities attractive regardless of a person’s gender.
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If you want to maintain attraction with a woman, right from the moment you first meet her all the way through to a long-term relationship, then I highly recommend you get a copy of my book Atomic Attraction.
Check out the Get Her Back (Action Plan) for the best way to get your girlfriend back if she’s pulled away from you or left you.
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Trust yourself and trust the process,
Chris Canwell
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